Freedom from societal pressure

By Vaibhav Chopra

(Image source: gulfnews.com)

'Societal pressure, a term that has somehow managed to reach every Indian household in one way or the other, is a thorn in the foot for the majority of us.'​ In broad perspective, the term stands for the constant pressure or push our life choices and decisions face to follow our peers and be like them- much in our thoughts and actions. Despite us loathing it and blaming the society for it, it has never ceased to exist.

In a country like ours, with the evergreen saying- “​Sharma ji ke bete ko dekho​”, societal pressure has been normalised to such an extent that it is not even a problem in the eyes of a major chunk of Indian parents. Casual comparisons have always been there, be it in the form of academic performance, which is usually the most prevalent form, or in the form of skills in the fields of dancing, painting, singing or what not. Surely, parents over time have become more accepting in a way that now sports, which was once a possible distraction from studies, or various forms of arts are now welcomed. But has the story changed? Not by much. ​The same old Sharma ji whose son topped the matriculation, now has a son who has been selected into the state cricket team, or has won some district level singing competition.

The problem goes a bit deeper when we realise that by adjusting our expectations from ourselves according to what was told to us was the society norm, that if not followed would lead to our ostracism from the mainstream people, we somehow end up letting go of things we shouldn’t let go of, and accepting things that aren’t the best suited to us​. We break up with our passion in the process and end up marrying the forced expectations.​ We soon end up finding ourselves in an emotional dilemma when we end up having an extramarital affair with our own means of escapism.

I’ve seldom seen people raised with the ideology of learning from themselves and being their own competitor as opposed to the usual way, giving in to this societal or peer pressure. Of late, there's a little change in this direction. The younger generation of parents are slowly coming to the realisation of the importance of this ideology.

And while we’re at it, I’d also like to add that it is not just the passing on of the legacy of comparisons from generation to generation that is the problem, but also that the feeling of being mentally exhausted by a lot of peer pressure stems from the very ​need​ ​of acceptance​. Peer pressure is not just limited to your regular classroom but it goes way beyond it. We’ve reached such a stage now, that for a huge number of people, their social media presence is determined by the likes and dislikes of their friends and followers. Got an unpopular opinion? Gotta keep it to yourself buddy. What if your friends don’t like it? Or more, what if they get angry because of it? You’d be greeted with an unfollow or a potential block. One's prestige seems to be doomed with people not complying with their ideas. The generation has been wired to be liked and supported more than being courageous about being right. ​This scenario therefore, calls for peer support, while on the other parallel of peer support also lies peer pressure. ​This has soon been an invisible cycle for most of us. And thus we begin to live and feed upon peer opinions about us.

It doesn’t matter if we’re not attacking any individual’s identity and integrity or threatening the sovereignty of our nation. If our mouths have to censor themselves even when our heart believes otherwise and our thumbs have to restrict their movements on the phone screen keyboard, what exactly are we gonna do with this social image of ours. The funny thing here is the society that we fear of, is formed and built by us.​ And even after knowing this fact for quite long, we cannot seem to do anything about it. What good is this peer pressure to be and act a certain way if we cannot live life on our own terms?

This is a question that we should all ask ourselves till we realise the extent of importance that this question carries in our life, and ​hopefully some day, we’d be able to say individually, if not as a nation, that we’re independent from the shackles of societal pressure that holds us back.​ True freedom is inclusive of personal freedom as much as it counts on our freedom as a society.