Is Feminism being misconstrued as Misandry?

By Vaibhav Chopra

(Image source: shethepeople.tv)

India has been running on a tightrope of paradoxes for so long. Be it the fact that we have the power to choose people who end up exploiting us or the fact that unfortunately, there exist some men in our country that have made it unsafe for women(for men too) and there also exist some women who have abused the laws meant to protect them. There is a lot that can be said in this regard, but the latter part is going to be addressed in this article.

It is deeply unfortunate that the Hathras rape took place. What's more upsetting is the fact that it transcended the boundaries of the usual reason male domination and entered the territory of casteism as well. This December marks the 8th tragic anniversary of the Delhi Nirbhaya Case, the case that brought the citizens of Delhi to the roads with a candle in their hands. It was a case that deeply infuriated the masses and had a deep impact on the way the judiciary worked. Certain reforms were brought to the law on rape. Although justice took too long to be delivered on that case, the outrage directed towards not just the criminals, but also our system, laws and society seemed to promise a better future. In a saddening turn of events, the rape cases grew in number. From 24,923 reported cases in 2012 to 32,033 in 2019, according to the latest government data released on September 29, 2020.

While atrocities on women are abysmally shameful and the lack of humanity in the perpetrators can't be denied, it is a very large topic in itself and is not the only concern of this society. Another thing that needs to be brought to everyone's attention is the other side of this coin. Several laws have been made for the benefit and protection of women. While they may not be completely perfect, our nation is moving forward one step at a time towards more acceptance of possible amendments. Even if we talk from a societal point of view, women have usually been getting the benefit of doubt over men in disputed matters nowadays. Now, women having that power or privilege is not the problem. What has been a problem, however, is the blatant misuse of that privilege for the sake of their own benefit by some women.

In some cases we have seen how men had to suffer months or even years of misery, before being acquitted because the 'victim card' was played. One of the recent examples of this is the Jasleen Kaur vs Sarvjeet Singh case. Sarvjeet Singh, who was dubbed "Dilli ka Darinda" and stripped off of his job, had to appear at a police station every time he had to go out of the city and couldn't get a passport. Inevitably, his family suffered as well. His sister was also being rejected for marriage every time. Needless to say, they were ostracized to a big extent as well. The complainant, Jasleen Kaur, was hailed as the brave girl that our nation needed. She was supported not only by the Chief Minister of Delhi, but certain bollywood celebrities as well, among others. The nation was ready to jump on the same wagon. But in a twist of events, Sarvjeet's side of the story was also presented to the masses and although some journalists behaved very rudely with him, outrightly insulting him, he kept his composure. Subsequently, during the first 13 court hearings he was there and was given another date because contrary to the bravery that was being celebrated sometime earlier, Jasleen Kaur wasn't present in even a single one of them, very conveniently stating the reason of her studies in Canada the reason for her absence. It's ironic how one career was being built on the grave of another. Sarvjeet Singh was finally acquitted in 2019, four years after he was accused of harassment. Was justice truly served? Jasleen Kaur walked totally unscathed after this case.

The aforementioned case is one where the falsely accused male was lucky enough to live. Sadly, there also have been cases where men commit suicide when they are threatened by a rape allegation. One such case was about Aman Baisla of Rohini. Aman, a Delhi based businessman, committed suicide on 29th September. The reason for his suicide, as he stated in a few igtv videos posted by him, was that he was being extorted for money by his ex-business partner Neha Jindal and famous singer, Sumit Goswami. She threatened to falsely implicate him into a molestation case. This case, lamentably, didn't get enough coverage.

These were two of the cases which strongly show the misuse of the privilege mentioned above. Several judges like Judge Virender Bhat and former Bombay HC Judge V.M. Kanade have addressed this issue as well. Justice Kailash Ghambhir of the Delhi High Court has stated that penal provisions for rape are often being misused by women as a "weapon for vengeance and vendetta" to harass and blackmail their male friends by filing false cases to extort money and to force them get married.

You know what keeps our nation down? Citizens not having the ability to listen. The inability to see beyond their adopted set of beliefs. One can clearly see this whenever a rape case happens, alot of people swarm off to social media to vent their rage. As soon as there is a mention of crimes against men on such posts, people just jump off to angrily comment about suffering of women in our country and start assuming that the mere mention of male suffering is invalidating the female suffering. What all of us need to understand is that everything has it's time. No two crimes should be compared with each other, and every crime be dealt with equal sensitivity. When we indulge in this pointless whatabouttery, not only do we not give justice to the other type of crime, but also the one which hits us personally. Another thing that we need to learn is the damaging nature of media trials. What was once a source of facts and information and news in it's true sense, has now become a turf of sensationalism.

I would again want to reiterate that by writing this article, I’m in now way trying to negate or disregard the horrible experiences many of the women in our country have to go through. We cannot look away from the fact that women have been exploited for long, which is obviously something we as a nation should be aiming to get rid of. Without indulging in the never ending loop of whatabouttery, however, it should also be noted that like I mentioned above, one wrong doesn’t justify the other wrong either. Both of the problems need to be addressed because suffice to say, both are equally horrific and alarming. While we’re talking of solutions, one thing that can help kickstart our journey towards a better nation, or better yet, towards a better society is the fact that these changes start at home. We need to be more receptive and sensitive towards the victims of misandry as well. We need to acknowledge that these things can and do happen, because acknowledgement is the first step towards an effective solution. We need to remember that being a perpetrator isn’t a gender assigned role, anyone can be one.